I was dancing merrily in a meadow to the beat of my own drum. Suddenly, a man approached, he rounded a tree and told me that I must stop dancing. “No!” I declared. He replied, “you’ll regret this soon enough!” I went away from him continuously dancing. He grabbed his gun from his waist, lined up the barrel taret locked, clinched his eye and then he shot half of my face off. I immediately fell to the ground in painful wonderment.
I laid there weeping, I noticed he was approaching me. He knelt down on one knee; swept my hair away from the remaining side of my face, with his lips barely touching my ear and said “please forgive me, beautiful. You must do what I say, you’re mine”.
A friend of mine recently said “to love is be vulnerable”. I really liked that but to be honest with myself, I believe true love is safe. Someone who truly loves you will not play upon your insecurities; they will never cast you in doubt, they will never make you guess where their intent lies.
Sure, things might become tough, things might become hard. However, if they truly love you than they will never leave you guessing. They will recognize what you have to offer and fear to lose it. Not because they are afraid to be alone or because they need to suffice loneliness, but because they realize what your essence brings to their life.
True love conquers all battles that try to divide it. Whether it is physical or emotional, people who truly love each other face these things together. No matter the cost.
I pushed you away subconsciously. Amplified everything that could ever get you in a frenzy, this is me. Everything, why? I don’t know. I guess I want to show you the worst of me. To see if you could love me on my bad days. To see if you could really appreciate my all. It’s probably not a good strategy. It probably wouldn’t ever work but to be loved is to be vulnerable.
I felt the change in you.. I couldn’t take it. The perspective got a little bleak and so I became a little needy. I hated that. I really don’t like to need anyone. But I wanted you. I wanted you forever in a moment. Maybe for eternity. I guess that’s the life of a heart broken romantic.
They tell me I have to be dainty, that I should resemble a saint. Tell me to keep my opinions to myself, to be tactful and quaint. How could I ever be myself if I cannot be on fire? I’m passionate about which that I desire.
The first thing he said to me “do you really want me to sleep in the other bed?” Sent my mind into overdrive. Did he really think that I would want to cuddle with him? A man who just recently stabbed me in the heart. He killed me with insecurity, drained me from the drama he brought into my life, and he wanted to embrace me into his arms. Maybe he was hurt to but that’s not how you heal. He told me to text him, which I simply cannot act like nothing happened. He asked if he could touch me but how could I let someone have my skin after hurting what’s within?
I didn’t hate him, I still love him. But I was tired of dancing in circles. If he wants to be friends, that is okay, I guess. However, I’ll take things slower to avoid the chaos.