Can I touch you

The first thing he said to me “do you really want me to sleep in the other bed?” Sent my mind into overdrive. Did he really think that I would want to cuddle with him? A man who just recently stabbed me in the heart. He killed me with insecurity, drained me from the drama he brought into my life, and he wanted to embrace me into his arms. Maybe he was hurt to but that’s not how you heal. He told me to text him, which I simply cannot act like nothing happened. He asked if he could touch me but how could I let someone have my skin after hurting what’s within?

I didn’t hate him, I still love him. But I was tired of dancing in circles. If he wants to be friends, that is okay, I guess. However, I’ll take things slower to avoid the chaos.

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6 thoughts on “Can I touch you

    1. I think he is confused also. Their was a lot of negative things happening also. I want to be free if confusion. I’m straight forward, I don’t gamble my heart away, and what I want is to be free. Free of restrains… In love, I usually blossom. I couldn’t because I was entrenched in drama, in uncertainty. I just want to be me. I have a cleansing ritual so I won’t do that. Friendship will come in time but I’m authentic in every emotion. I will deplete this feeling until I feel like myself again. I love him but I love me more.

      1. True, Love is a complex emotion. However it should be simply felt. In the end, I couldn’t feel it. Maybe in another form but not like lovers do.

        Friendship will take time. I have my own ritual of virtues. I am going celibate. I am detoxing. I am finding myself. Why deviate from that to be hurt, to be vulnerable? Their is so much at stake I cannot afford to risk. We live together also. Time will heal the wounds. Time will make us friends. But lovers again? Uh.

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